It’s 2019, and women only hold 26.5 per­cent of executive/​senior lev­el posi­tions and, even worse, only 4.8 per­cent of CEO posi­tions in S&P 500 com­pa­nies. Speak­ing as the chief mar­ket­ing offi­cer for ASUG, I know we still have a lot more work to do. And I know that we need to do it together.

I think ear­ly in my career, I set a goal of being at the top of the lad­der. I want­ed to hold a C‑level posi­tion at a For­tune 100 com­pa­ny, no mat­ter the uphill climb. I worked hard at get­ting there. But that’s not what makes my sto­ry unique. In fact, I’m sure I share that pas­sion and dri­ve with many women.

What makes my sto­ry mine are the lessons I learned along the way and the ways in which I’ve allowed them to shape my climb. Those are the lessons I want to share with you.

Putting Life on Hold 

How many times have we heard women talk about putting their per­son­al lives on hold in pur­suit of pro­fes­sion­al accom­plish­ment? Per­haps too often. I’ve had to make that deci­sion too. When asked if I’ve sac­ri­ficed any­thing in my life to get to this stage of my career, the answer is, ​“Yes, in many ways. But no, not at all.”

My sac­ri­fices, which were choic­es, allowed me to work in many dif­fer­ent indus­tries. I’ve held posi­tions in For­tune 5 com­pa­nies and star­tups, as well as aca­d­e­m­ic insti­tu­tions and non­prof­it orga­ni­za­tions. I have even owned my own busi­ness. I made real sac­ri­fices — fam­i­ly, love, friend­ships — to get there, but I also learned some valu­able lessons.

Check Your Perspective 

Sit­ting at the top of that lad­der, I real­ized what tru­ly made me hap­py was to take the time to expe­ri­ence life. To live life with the peo­ple I love and to work with peo­ple I respect. It took me many years, many turns, and many fail­ures to look at myself in the mir­ror and under­stand what I want­ed. To under­stand who I want­ed to be, and to be true to myself.

I chose to step away from the cor­po­rate climb and piv­ot my career to find envi­ron­ments that I want­ed to be in, peo­ple I want­ed to work with, and com­pa­nies that tru­ly make a dif­fer­ence in the market.

I don’t have regrets, but what I do have is a new point of view. Through­out my career, I had the oppor­tu­ni­ty to work for some great lead­ers, and some not-so-great lead­ers. Learn­ing from both kinds of lead­ers has shaped the way I choose to lead today. To be an effec­tive leader, you need to be able to allow each per­son on your team to be their best self. You need to see them for who they are and how they can contribute.

Flip the Beach Ball Around 

When you can see the big pic­ture but still focus in on each part that makes it, you’re already two steps ahead.

My moth­er may have taught me the best les­son in life. When­ev­er I’d start a sen­tence with, ​“it’s not fair,” she would chal­lenge me to think about the cir­cum­stances from some­one else’s point of view. ​“Did you see their side of the beach ball?” she’d ask. ​“Maybe the col­or they were look­ing at was dif­fer­ent from yours, and per­haps you need to help them spin the ball to see all sides.” Although I lost her too ear­ly in my life, her life lessons will be ones I will always remem­ber and embrace every day of my life.

This les­son in par­tic­u­lar has guid­ed me through my career. Being able to think about some­one else’s point of view, despite dif­fer­ences, has allowed me to learn and grow and be the leader I am today. I learn every day, cel­e­brate suc­cess­es, and con­sid­er fail­ures to be lessons. I trust those around me, and because of that, I can be my best self too.

Find­ing Your Way 

I’ve climbed the lad­der up and then back down and back up again. I’ve had expe­ri­ences that are good, bad, and down­right ugly. I’ve learned to ​“play the game” and change the rules. I’ve met and learned from some amaz­ing peo­ple, per­son­al­ly and professionally.

So, now what?

One of the best lessons I learned was that it is okay to show your vul­ner­a­bil­i­ties and to be human; it makes you effec­tive. Now, I’ve found my way to that climb. I cel­e­brate the abil­i­ty to work with extra­or­di­nary women and men every day. They’re smart, car­ing, inquis­i­tive, dri­ven, light­heart­ed, and col­lab­o­ra­tive. I lead and work with teams of peo­ple that have respect for each oth­er and the team. It is a rare oppor­tu­ni­ty to work in an envi­ron­ment that is open and trusting.

Pay It Forward 

It is fun spin­ning the beach ball around, but it can be more fun pass­ing it to some­one else. I’ve had the great priv­i­lege of hav­ing men­tors in my life. In fact, one of my boss­es ear­ly on in my career is still some­one I count on. He has long since retired, but still is a great source of calm and guid­ance for me. 

There is such val­ue in find­ing those peo­ple in your life. It’s impor­tant to have an out­side voice, whether it’s a friend or a pro­fes­sion­al coach. There is also val­ue in being that per­son in someone’s life.

At this stage in my career, I can take my years of expe­ri­ence and the lessons I have learned and men­tor oth­ers try­ing to find their career paths. Many of the women who I have men­tored (for­mal­ly and infor­mal­ly) call me ​“Yoda.” I’m not sure that I’m that wise, but if my expe­ri­ences can help oth­ers nav­i­gate the paths before them, I am all-in to help guide them.

Two Cents…If You Want Them 

Learn who you are. Know what your ​“must haves” are in a posi­tion. I sug­gest you write down what you will com­pro­mise on and what is not nego­tiable. Know­ing what is right for you is the key to being suc­cess­ful and find­ing sat­is­fac­tion in what you do.

Women have a habit of think­ing they need to do some­thing or be in this or that posi­tion to grow, but we need to put our­selves into posi­tions that allow us to shine. Nev­er com­pro­mise on who you are. Stay true to your­self, and always be learn­ing. If you are not learn­ing some­thing new every day, then you are not pay­ing atten­tion and life will pass you by.

Also, know that you are not the ​“only one.” ASUG Women Con­nect has a year-round cal­en­dar of events you can join, includ­ing gath­er­ings at nation­al con­fer­ences and local net­work­ing mee­tups to encour­age more con­ver­sa­tions and growth oppor­tu­ni­ties. We want you to par­tic­i­pate. We would also love for you to tell your sto­ry through the ASUG blog. Tell your sto­ry so oth­ers can learn and see all of the col­ors of the beach ball.

ASUG is no longer accept­ing blog submissions.

Find out how to get involved with ASUG Women Con­nect year round. Join our LinkedIn group to con­nect with like-mind­ed pro­fes­sion­als and stay updat­ed on upcom­ing events.